While cleaning out a few of my Mother's things I ran across something special. In that moment I knew I needed to share this with the world. Please feel free to pass along to all those deserving in your life.

THOUGHTS ON HOUSEKEEPING

Vacuuming too often weakens the carpet fibers. Say this with a serious face, and shudder delicately whenever anyone mentions Carpet Fresh.

Dust bunnies cannot evolve into dust rhinos when disturbed. Rename the area under the couch "The Galapagos Islands" and claim an ecological exemption.

Cobwebs artfully draped over lampshades reduces the glare from the bulb. If your husband points out that the light fixtures need dusting, simply look affronted and exclaim, "What? And spoil the mood?"

Explain the mound of pet hair bushed up against the doorways by claiming you are collecting it there to use for stuffing hand sewn play animals for underprivileged children.

If unexpected company is coming, pile everything unsightly into one room and close the door. As you show your guests though your tidy home, rattle the door knob vigorously, fake a growl and say, "I'd love you to see our Den, but Fluffy hates to be disturbed and the shots are SO expensive."

Mix one-quarter cup pine-scented household cleaner with four cups of water in a spray bottle. Mist the air lightly. Leave dampened rags in conspicuous locations. Develop and exhausted look, throw yourself onto the couch, and sigh, "I clean and clean and I still don't get anywhere ...".