While cleaning out a few of my Mother's things I ran across something special. In that moment I knew I needed to share this with the world. Please feel free to pass along to all those deserving in your life.


Vacuuming too often weakens the carpet fibers. Say this with a serious face, and shudder delicately whenever anyone mentions Carpet Fresh.

Dust bunnies cannot evolve into dust rhinos when disturbed. Rename the area under the couch "The Galapagos Islands" and claim an ecological exemption.

Cobwebs artfully draped over lampshades reduces the glare from the bulb. If your husband points out that the light fixtures need dusting, simply look affronted and exclaim, "What? And spoil the mood?"

Explain the mound of pet hair bushed up against the doorways by claiming you are collecting it there to use for stuffing hand sewn play animals for underprivileged children.

If unexpected company is coming, pile everything unsightly into one room and close the door. As you show your guests though your tidy home, rattle the door knob vigorously, fake a growl and say, "I'd love you to see our Den, but Fluffy hates to be disturbed and the shots are SO expensive."

Mix one-quarter cup pine-scented household cleaner with four cups of water in a spray bottle. Mist the air lightly. Leave dampened rags in conspicuous locations. Develop and exhausted look, throw yourself onto the couch, and sigh, "I clean and clean and I still don't get anywhere ...".
9 Responses
  1. Caroline Says:

    Ok, that is great! So that dirty ring on the toilet bowl is protecting the porcelain from getting scratched with the scrub brush?

  2. Insane Mama Says:

    So what the heck and I supposed to call that area under my couch???

  3. Migraine Mom Says:

    I love it! Your mom was a very wise woman who raised a very wise woman!

  4. Apryll Says:

    I love it!! Thanks for the smile, and excuses for my hubby.

  5. Ann Says:

    Have you been to my house? I think you've been here? :->
    There's one candle that I love to light because the scent makes everyone feel like they are in a 'clean' house!
    Great post!!!

  6. Octamom Says:

    You may have just changed my whole approach to housekeeping--it all seems so clear now...


  7. Tiffany Says:

    Your mom.. she probably liked Sangira too!

    These are so funny. I love the one about misting the air...