Summer Classes for Men at
THE ADULT LEARNING CENTER REGISTRATION MUST BE COMPLETED
by Friday, May 18th 2008
NOTE: DUE TO THE COMPLEXITY AND DIFFICULTY LEVEL OF THEIR CONTENTS, CLASS SIZES WILL BE LIMITED TO 8 PARTICIPANTS MAXIMUM
Class 1 How To Fill Up The Ice Cube Trays--Step by Step, with Slide Presentation. Meets 4 weeks, Monday and Wednesday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.
Class 2 The Toilet Paper Roll--Does It Change Itself? Round Table Discussion. Meets 2 weeks, Saturday 12:00 for 2 hours.
Class 3 Is It Possible To Urinate Using The Technique Of Lifting The Seat and Avoiding The Floor, Walls and Nearby Bathtub?--Group Practice. Meets 4 weeks, Saturday 10:00 PM for 2 hours.
Class 4 Fundamental Differences Between The Laundry Hamper and The Floor--Pictures and Explanatory Graphics. Meets Saturdays at 2:00 PM for 3 weeks.
Class 5 Dinner Dishes--Can They Levitate and Fly Into The Kitchen Sink? Examples on Video. Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM
Class 6 Loss Of Identity--Losing The Remote To Your Significant Other. Help Line Support and Support Groups. Meets 4 Weeks, Friday and Sunday 7:00 PM
Class 7 Learning How To Find Things--Starting With Looking In The Right Places And Not Turning The House Upside Down While Screaming. Open Forum. Monday at 8:00 PM, 2 hours.
Class 8 Health Watch--Bringing Her Flowers Is Not Harmful To Your Health. Graphics and Audio Tapes. Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.
Class 9 Real Men Ask For Directions When Lost--Real Life Testimonials. Tuesdays at 6:00 PM Location to be determined
Class 10 Is It Genetically Impossible To Sit Quietly While She Parallel Parks? Driving Simulations. 4 weeks, Saturday's noon, 2 hours.
Class 11 Learning to Live--Basic Differences Between Mother and Wife. Online Classes and role-playing. Tuesdays at 7:00 PM, location to be determined
Class 12 How to be the Ideal Shopping Companion Relaxation Exercises, Meditation and Breathing Techniques. Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.
Class 13 How to Fight Cerebral Atrophy--Remembering Birthdays, Anniversaries and Other Important Dates and Calling When You're Going To Be Late. Cerebral Shock Therapy Sessions and Full Lobotomies Offered. Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.
Class 14 The Stove/Oven--What It Is and How It Is Used. Live Demonstration.
Tuesdays at 6:00 PM, location to be determined.
Upon completion of any of the above courses, diplomas will be issued to the survivors.
I'd like to sign my husband up for the how to find things class. Please email me the registration details. ;-)
Can I enroll my teenager? because the whole peeing on the floor thing is really grossing me out!
Oh, and can you add a class on etiquette, you know when to burp and when not to.
Thanks
I'm in. Where do I sign up?
But really, I am not that retarded. I get most of those right..most of the time.
I am good with the ice cubes (automatic), toilet seat, laundry hamper, dishes and finding things. I may need some guidance with the toilet paper, directions and Cerebral Atrophy. And only if there are intensive courses...I have to admit that the paralell parking and shoping are excruciating...am I (are we) really that bad?
I am sining my husband up for classe's 4,5,7,9,10,12,&14. Look liek he will be very busy! :)
I think I'll get my husband back by enrolling him in each and every one of those classes. He does do some of those things well, but he could use a refresher course.
Okay, I would like to volunteer my services if a substitute is ever needed. I have 10 years experience with my current man and 10 prior years spent training various other specimens of the male gender.
Oh my heck, this is tooo funny. I've gotta e-mail it to my husband, I think even he would get a kick out of it. CUTE blog!!!
That is hysterical!! I need to enroll my husband n Class 4 - Findamental Differences Between the Laundry Hamper and the Floor.
Seriously.
I think you've set up classes for all the men/boys in my family! I have to enroll them all - in ALL of them!
So originally funny & I so needed the laughter today! (but really, some of those would be great..grumble)
That is TOO funny!
Fantastic!!!
Very impressive syllabus.
(Are scholarhips available?)