Summer Classes for Men at
by Friday, May 18th 2008
Class 1 How To Fill Up The Ice Cube Trays--Step by Step, with Slide Presentation. Meets 4 weeks, Monday and Wednesday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.

Class 2 The Toilet Paper Roll--Does It Change Itself? Round Table Discussion. Meets 2 weeks, Saturday 12:00 for 2 hours.

Class 3 Is It Possible To Urinate Using The Technique Of Lifting The Seat and Avoiding The Floor, Walls and Nearby Bathtub?--Group Practice. Meets 4 weeks, Saturday 10:00 PM for 2 hours.

Class 4 Fundamental Differences Between The Laundry Hamper and The Floor--Pictures and Explanatory Graphics. Meets Saturdays at 2:00 PM for 3 weeks.

Class 5 Dinner Dishes--Can They Levitate and Fly Into The Kitchen Sink? Examples on Video. Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM

Class 6 Loss Of Identity--Losing The Remote To Your Significant Other. Help Line Support and Support Groups. Meets 4 Weeks, Friday and Sunday 7:00 PM

Class 7 Learning How To Find Things--Starting With Looking In The Right Places And Not Turning The House Upside Down While Screaming. Open Forum. Monday at 8:00 PM, 2 hours.

Class 8 Health Watch--Bringing Her Flowers Is Not Harmful To Your Health. Graphics and Audio Tapes. Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.

Class 9 Real Men Ask For Directions When Lost--Real Life Testimonials. Tuesdays at 6:00 PM Location to be determined

Class 10 Is It Genetically Impossible To Sit Quietly While She Parallel Parks? Driving Simulations. 4 weeks, Saturday's noon, 2 hours.

Class 11 Learning to Live--Basic Differences Between Mother and Wife. Online Classes and role-playing. Tuesdays at 7:00 PM, location to be determined

Class 12 How to be the Ideal Shopping Companion Relaxation Exercises, Meditation and Breathing Techniques. Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.

Class 13 How to Fight Cerebral Atrophy--Remembering Birthdays, Anniversaries and Other Important Dates and Calling When You're Going To Be Late. Cerebral Shock Therapy Sessions and Full Lobotomies Offered. Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.

Class 14 The Stove/Oven--What It Is and How It Is Used. Live Demonstration.
Tuesdays at 6:00 PM, location to be determined.
Upon completion of any of the above courses, diplomas will be issued to the survivors.
11 Responses
  1. Kat Says:

    I'd like to sign my husband up for the how to find things class. Please email me the registration details. ;-)

  2. Insane Mama Says:

    Can I enroll my teenager? because the whole peeing on the floor thing is really grossing me out!

    Oh, and can you add a class on etiquette, you know when to burp and when not to.

  3. TentCamper Says:

    I'm in. Where do I sign up?

    But really, I am not that retarded. I get most of those right..most of the time.
    I am good with the ice cubes (automatic), toilet seat, laundry hamper, dishes and finding things. I may need some guidance with the toilet paper, directions and Cerebral Atrophy. And only if there are intensive courses...I have to admit that the paralell parking and shoping are I (are we) really that bad?

  4. JWilson Says:

    I am sining my husband up for classe's 4,5,7,9,10,12,&14. Look liek he will be very busy! :)

  5. Mama Kat Says:

    I think I'll get my husband back by enrolling him in each and every one of those classes. He does do some of those things well, but he could use a refresher course.

  6. Tiffany Says:

    Okay, I would like to volunteer my services if a substitute is ever needed. I have 10 years experience with my current man and 10 prior years spent training various other specimens of the male gender.

  7. Nicole Says:

    Oh my heck, this is tooo funny. I've gotta e-mail it to my husband, I think even he would get a kick out of it. CUTE blog!!!

  8. Heather Says:

    That is hysterical!! I need to enroll my husband n Class 4 - Findamental Differences Between the Laundry Hamper and the Floor.


  9. Lex the mom Says:

    I think you've set up classes for all the men/boys in my family! I have to enroll them all - in ALL of them!

    So originally funny & I so needed the laughter today! (but really, some of those would be great..grumble)

  10. -Bridget Says:

    That is TOO funny!

  11. Ann Says:

    Very impressive syllabus.
    (Are scholarhips available?)